Bushido Virtue #4 Rei – Respect

I’ve had lots of people ask me why we bow in martial arts.  What I never knew until now was that the commanding word in Japanese that a sensei uses to instruct his students to bow – “rei” – is also the word for respect, the “why” we bow.

Dictionary.com states that respect as a noun means “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellenceof a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability” or “deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy”.  As a verb, respect means “to hold in esteem or honor”, or “to show regard or consideration for”, or “to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with”.  The kanji character is also translated as “thanking; gratitude”.  This is what we learn bowing is all about – thanking our sensei for teaching, our fellow karate-ka for working out with us, whoever pays the bills that keeps our dojo open, all those who’ve trained before us so we can learn, etc.

Interestingly, Nitobe treats this virtue as politeness.  He says, “Politeness is a poor virtue, if it is actuated only by a fear of offending good taste, whereas it should be the outward manifestation of a sympathetic regard for the feelings of others. It also implies a due regard for the fitness of things, therefore due respect to social positions; for these latter express no plutocratic distinctions, but were originally distinctions for actual merit”.  Basically, I believe this means that respect means nothing if it’s only given because you feel like you have to, or you’re scared into it.  It’s supposed to be a reflection of what you really feel – an admiration, an appreciation for the person, place or thing. 

The rituals that we have in martial arts were developed as training devices for youth and produced “power in repose”.  As you practice the seemingly mundane and monotonous motions of a ceremony (or kata perhaps), you begin to understand what Nitobe describes: “[the ceremony] denotes the result of long observation as to the most appropriate method of achieving a certain result. If there is anything to do, there is certainly a best way to do it, and the best way is both the most economical and the most graceful”.  Our elders, senseis, instructors, and the great masters of old have learned, fine-tuned, and passed on to us this knowledge (basics, kata, dojo etiquette, etc).  We show them respect when we give 110% in our efforts to practice what they’ve taught us.  We also show them respect when we respect others in martial arts, no matter their background, style, or differences. 

So, gi (rectitude) is the compass that points north, yu (courage) is the gut-level decision to go north, jin (benevolence) is the mindframe of helping others on their journey north with you … then let’s add to that – rei (respect) is the outward actions shown by you to your instructors, fellow karate-ka, and yourself as you journey north.

What does this look like?  We bow when we enter the dojo, the training floor, before and after kata, to our partners, to our instructors.  We line up our shoes as carefully and as meticulously as we can.  We keep our uniforms clean and in good repair.  We stay silent during class so we can listen, then learn, then practice.   We bow to black belts when they enter the room.  At tournaments, we still practice what we’ve learned even if others don’t.  We dig deep and practice with all that we have.  

Be prepared for those who claim you are OCD.  Even Nitobe noted Western criticism for the seemingly ridiculous attention placed on Japanese ceremonial observations.  But remember – respect is not something you demonstrate to win someone’s approval.  Again, bushido is a way of life and can’t simply be checked in and out at the dojo door.  If respect is simply an outward manifestation of rectitude, courage, and benevolence; then we should be showing a lot of respect.

Now that we’ve investigated where we are regarding the previous three bushido virtues, let’s begin looking at where we can improve how we let it show in terms of respect.  Start by thinking through all the little bitty details at the dojo.  Are you just going through the motions of bowing, putting your shoes in line, etc?  Or are you aware of the respect attached to these actions?  Where can you take this into your life outside the dojo?